phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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