I accidentally had phone sex last night
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My penis needs a shock collar
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
