i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize