You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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