me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
