12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
