i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
