Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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