My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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