Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
