is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
