By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
