he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
