$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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