Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
