Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
