Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
