Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
