he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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