yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
