We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
