i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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