So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
