I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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