Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
