rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
