Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
