the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
