The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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