if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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