my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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