Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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