Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
