She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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