I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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