GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
