I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
