He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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