i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
