would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize