dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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