i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need water and some morals
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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