he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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