Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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