I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
wow bdsm is so cute
that may or may not have been my penis.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
