You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
