just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
