so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
