once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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