Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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