so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
