So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
