apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize