I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
