do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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