I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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