I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
